Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Kung Fu Mahjong

Year:2005
Director:Wong Jing, Billy Chung Siu-Hung
Cast:Roger Kwok Chun-On, Yuen Wah, Yuen Qiu, Wong Jing, Theresa Fu Wing, Jay Leung Jing, Lam Chi-Chung, Tin Kai-Man, Jerry Lamb Hiu-Fung, Lee Kin-Yan
Description:
Does
anyone else think that Wong Jing uses Mad Libs to
write his scripts? Hong Kong's leading schlockmeister
recycles big time for his latest cinematic regurgitation,
Kung Fu Mahjong. The film's title and elder
stars are an obvious nod to
some little film called Kung Fu Hustle, but
Wong Jing does more than borrow from Stephen Chow's
leftovers. Wong also calls upon TVB star Roger Kwok
to parody his own performance from the TVB drama Square
Pegs, and the whole concept of Kung Fu Mahjong
is lifted from every other gambling film ever made.
Originality, thy name is not Kung Fu Mahjong.
Yuen Wah is Chi Mo-Sai,
a professional gambler who's more adept at getting
his butt kicked than actually cleaning up at the tables.
But Mo-Sai finds his golden goose in Ah Wong , a waiter at a local diner whose ability to
hear and repeat complex food orders is Rainman-like
in its exactness. Bingo, Mo-Sai has found his guy
to go gambling with, but there are obstacles. The
main problem is Auntie Fei, Ah Wong's boss and keeper,
who doesn't want Ah Wong to become a gambler because,
essentially, "gambling is bad." No one really
wants to argue with Auntie Fei, because A) she can
beat up bunches of thugs with her feet while carrying
a mahjong table, and B) she's played by Yuen Qiu,
who sports a dangling cigarette out of the corner
of her mouth AND administers beatings on Yuen Wah
as if she were still in Kung Fu Hustle. Wong
Jing knows: if you must copy, copy from the best.
Ah Wong, however, doesn't
heed Auntie Fei's advice, and joins Mo Sai for some
gambling action. Predictably, his beautiful mind works
wonders at the tables, leading to the admiration of
gambling queen Phoenix , plus the ire of #1 gambler Tin Kau Gor
. Mo-Sai also helps Ah Wong get in with
the pretty Cheryl using classic
"Chasing Girls" techniques, i.e. he uses
chicanery to pretend to be someone he's not. Like
all Wong Jing heroines, Cheryl sees through his crap
immediately, but she's still charmed and chooses to
date the lying fool. Cinema purists take note: Wong
Jing has just stolen from himself. He also steals
from himself when Ah Wong gets smacked in the head,
and goes all mental like Ko Chun from the God of
Gamblers films. Ah Wong is reduced to an idiot,
Mo-Sai gets beaten up some more, and the stage is
set for a rousing "I will get back what I lost"
finale, which can also be seen in God of Gamblers,
A Better Tomorrow, and the story of that guy
who just had his wallet stolen. Again, there's nothing
new here.
Not that it matters.
If Wong Jing has a motto, it's quick, fast, and uncomplicated.
Kung Fu Mahjong delivers all of that in spades,
though it errs on the uncomplicated part by being
about mahjong, which anyone can tell you is pretty
damn complex. Wong and co-director Billy Chung dig
deep into the mahjong playbook, and introduce us to
obscure winning hands and gameplay strategy, some
of it fake, but most of it oddly entertaining. If
you like mahjong - and cinematic matches totally get
you off - then Kung Fu Mahjong can be fun stuff.
With numerous amusing variations on display ,
mahjong fans will get their fix here, though the abundance
of onscreen mahjong makes the film about twenty minutes
longer than it should be. Add that to the usual Wong
Jing time-filling , and
you have the epitome of fast-food Hong Kong Cinema.
Kung Fu Mahjong: it's cheap, mildly appetizing,
and ultimately bad for you.
Still, as is common
with Wong Jing, that's all he set out to do: deliver
the cinema equivalent of a Happy Meal, only without
a free toy included. If one were to measure a film's
success by relative expectations then Kung Fu Mahjong
is much more successful than either Divergence
or The Eye 10. This doesn't mean it's a better
film per se, but those who check out Kung Fu Mahjong
and expect Kung Fu Hustle had better get some
education damn quick; this is cheap, rather lame stuff
for undemanding audiences and it's ultimately review-proof.
Are you a fan of Roger Kwok and his work on Square
Pegs? This is for you. Liked the sight of Yuen
Qiu beating the crap out of Yuen Wah in Kung Fu
Hustle? This is for you. Like recycled Chasing
Girls gags and mahjong action aplenty? This is
for you. Like Theresa Fu of Cookies? Well...given
her screen time, this may not be for you, but hey,
at least she's in the film. Wong Jing can't score
on all accounts, but he seems to be batting close
to .750. In Major League Baseball, that's enough to
win you an MVP award.
So once again, reviewing
this movie is probably not possible. Yes, it's bad
cinema, but it accomplishes what it intends efficiently
enough to earn the classification "Not the worst
movie you'll ever see." It's also not the best
movie you'll ever see, but again, if that's what you
were looking for then you should start looking for
more realistic goals, like proof that Michael Jackson
is a normal, well-adjusted human being. If you have
it in you to see Kung Fu Mahjong, then it does
what it should, and that's pretty much about it. This
is empty, sloppy moviemaking but nothing is truly
unforgivable - EXCEPT perhaps one moment. Wong Jing
puts Yuen Qiu into Uma Thurman's Kill Bill
togs for yet another The Bride vs. Gogo Yubari knockoff
scene that should induce more groans than laughs.
This is a gag that's uncreative and lame in its retread
status...hell, if they did it in Where's Mama's
Boy, then it should be avoided at all costs. Too
late, Wong Jing did it, which once again proves that
the man loves movies and loves ripping them off. Both
his loves are present and accounted for in Kung
Fu Mahjong - which means that from an auteur theory
standpoint, Kung Fu Mahjong is really a love
story, and even a successful one.
Okay, now I'm really reaching.

It Had To Be You

Year:2005











Availability:

DVD
Region 0 NTSC
Mei Ah Entertainment
16x9 Anamorphic Widescreen
Cantonese and Mandarin Language
Dolby Digital 5.1 / DTS 5.1
Removable English and Chinese Subtitles


Director:Andrew Loo Wang-Hin, Maurice Li Ming-Man
Cast:Karena Lam Ka-Yan, Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin, Eric Tsang Chi-Wai, Bobo Chan Man-Woon, Hu Bing, Nicola Cheung Sun-Yu, Yan Ng Yat-Yin, Derek Tsang Kwok-Cheung, Kiki Sheung Tin-Ngor, Hui Siu-Hung, Crystal Tin Yui-Lei, Chin Kar-Lok, Hayama Hiro
Description:
Ekin
Cheng and Karena Lam are sparring would-be lovers
in It Had To Be You, an urban romantic
comedy from the long-missed United Filmmakers
Organization . Once upon a time, UFO made
it their mission to create intelligent Hong
Kong movies about people and relationships,
and not kung-fu action epics starring a variety
of now-retired actors and actresses. The plan
worked, but since HK Cinema is now largely composed
of movies about people and relationships, the
sudden appearance of a UFO-branded film brings
higher expectations. Certain signifiers do need
to exist: urban trappings, upscale characters,
and slightly overdone existentialism among them.
However, given UFO's past pedigree, the movie
also has to be good. Hell, given the current
state of HK Cinema, it NEEDS to be good. Anything
less would be a disappointment.
Jack
and Jill are partners at work梐nd
on the short end of the relationship stick.
Though the two meet and spar in grand screwball
romantic comedy style, this pair of attractive
would-be lovers shares an unfortunate romantic
situation: both qualify as "the other guy/girl."
In Jill's case, she's stuck in a backup relationship
with bohunk doctor Chi On . She knows she's the other gal, but
deep down she's sure that Chi On will come around
and make her his one and only. Meanwhile, Jack
is still smarting over the revelation that longtime
gal Bobo Chan is seeing a bohemian airline pilot
. Actually, she was seeing him BEFORE
she started seeing Jack, a factoid he was unaware
of until only recently. Jack and Jill may start
off not liking one another, but given their
shared romantic plight, they have to be made
for each other, right?
Of course they
are! However, we're the audience, so we know
that already. In the heavily glossy world of
It Had To Be You, Jack and Jill are completely
unaware of their obvious heaven-made match.
Hell, even their coworkers know, as does Jill's
mom, Jack's uncle , and probably the
guy running the popcorn stand at the local theater.
But that's the rule of these glossy romantic
comedies: you know the two are getting together,
so it's the "how" that makes the difference.
Some animated misdirection, some feisty sparring,
and a couple of missed opportunities are enough
to get any audience primed for the inevitable
romantic pairing. So do writer-directors Andrew
Loo and Maurice Li deliver?
The waffling,
passive answer: not really. Though it looked
to be promising, It Had To Be You is
only average for a romantic comedy, and definitely
disappointing for a UFO-branded film. The "how"
is supposed to be the meat and potatoes of romantic
comedies, but the "how" of It Had
To Be You is less interesting than the "who"
and "where"梟ot the ideal formula
for this genre. The "who" is fine:
Ekin Cheng is a likable romantic lead, and he
shows a more mature charm than in his previous
romantic roles. It used to be that Ekin Cheng's
romantic screen persona was a grown-up kid who
suffered from arrested development; in It
Had To Be You, he appears to be a likable,
decent guy who really wants to find the right
girl梐nd actually makes a couple of cheer-worthy
choices to get there. Karena Lam is Karena Lam,
meaning she's lovely and oh-so-adorable, and
probably enough to get any heterosexual male
to sit up and pay attention.
As for the "where",
the two inhabit the attractive urban streets
of Central, which is where Casa Nostra, their
shared workplace, is located. A homey Italian
joint, Casa Nostra has delicious-looking food,
coffee that's described in a surprisingly tasty
manner, and nice, likable employees . It's also located right off the
Midlevel Escalators, meaning it's easy to find
if you're in Hong Kong and looking for a classy
joint to snag some grub. Make some reservations
and I'll see you there, though neither Karena
Lam nor Ekin Cheng will be around to satisfy
your star-gazing, star-stalking, or star-bashing
desire to take on Chan Ho-Nam in an impromptu
bar brawl梠r Italian restaurant rumble.
You'll have to make that date on your own.
But I digress.
The fact that I can go on and on about everything
but the film itself should tell you what you
need to know: It Had To Be You is recycled
stuff which looks and seems like it should be
a good movie, but unfortunately isn't. Jack
and Jill do grow closer in a relatively pleasing
manner, but the filmmakers resort to some out-of-nowhere
pathos of the urban UFO variety to make an impact
on the audience. At a pivotal moment, Jack and
Jill must tend to pal Jason , who shares
an offbeat and completely manufactured secret
that's supposed to be touching, but seems more
hackneyed and convenient than anything else.
Jack and Jill also mouth the words to a Faye
Wong song at the exact same time, which is supposed
to indicate a sort of unspoken closeness, but
the moment comes off as jarring and cloying
instead. To top off all the obvious romantic
comedy devices, Jill walks an imaginary dog
and talks to it as if it existed. The effect
is supposed to be endearing, but Jill ultimately
seems more loopy than lovable. When you have
a star like Karena Lam, you should find more
for her to do than recycle Meg Ryan's greatest
hits. At the very least, Ekin Cheng is more
attractive than Billy Crystal, but Cheng probably
would be a lousy Academy Awards host.
Again, I digress. On
the positive end, It Had To Be You has
plenty of talking points for the Hong Kong Cinema
inclined. It's a UFO film, it's got rising star
Karena Lam, falling star Ekin Cheng , an attractive
location in Central, and another patented supporting
turn by the sometimes effective, sometimes annoying
Eric Tsang. Plus, it actually tries to be intelligent
and sophisticated, which makes it a truly rare
Hong Kong flick, and enough to garner Maurice
Li and Andrew Loo an "A" for effort.
But the film itself? A C-plus, or maybe even
a B-minus, but if I give it that grade then
I'm truly being generous. Not to get overly
personal, but I really, really wanted to like
this movie. It had a lot of elements that made
it attractive to me, but if I did like it at
all, it was only because it featured the above
talking points, and not because it really was
a good movie. As it is, I was disappointed,
which wasn't entirely unexpected. If It Had
To Be You had really been good, I probably
would have been so flabbergasted that I would
proclaimed new hope for Hong Kong films. I also
would have renewed my membership in the Ekin
Cheng fan club, or at least gone to Causeway
Bay to see if I could enlist in Hung Hing. But
again, I digress. I seem to be doing that a
lot.

Home Sweet Home

Year:2005
Director:Soi Cheang Pou-Soi
Cast:Karena Lam Ka-Yan, Shu Qi, Alex Fong Chung-Sun, Tam Chun-Ho, Lam Suet, Li Peng, Matthew Chow Hoi-Kwong
Description:
Hong
Kong realtors had best steer prospective clients away
from Home Sweet Home. This horror thriller from
director Soi Cheang posits
the real estate buyer's nightmare. Imagine if you bought
a HK$4.5 million dollar flat in a swank new high-rise,
only to discover that the building is haunted by a disfigured
and emotionally unstable woman who rummages through
your trash and may even kidnap your kids. Of bigger
concern: the local cops suck hard and the housing management
is even more ineffectual. Not only do they let crazy
lady Yan Hong roam all over the estate,
but they let her nemesis, harried mother May ,
crawl through the air conditioning ducts and generally
make a mess of the place in search of her missing child.
Yes, it's sad that two emotionally damaged women are
fighting over lost children, but really, do they have
to make life hell for their neighbors?
But Home Sweet Home
is not the story of the inconvenienced neighbors, nor
is it a really much of a thriller. Instead, Home
Sweet Home is a dour, depressing, and downright
unrewarding melodrama about flawed women who get stuck
in distressingly sad situations. In May's case, she's
an introvert who only cares for husband Ray and son Chi Lo . May would rather
spend her time playing alone with Chi Lo than chatting
with her neighbors - though her passive nature gets
put aside when Chi Lo is snatched by grotesque Yan Hong,
who's eyed Chi Lo ever since he set foot into the complex.
Yan Hong's deal isn't revealed right away. In the beginning
she just appears to be a deranged woman who inhabits
the building like your proverbial "Phantom of the
Housing Estate". But, as the film progresses, her
sad, pathetic story ultimately gets revealed.
The revelation:
that Yan Hong had a sad, pathetic life that knew plenty
of misfortune. It also knew plenty of bad parenting,
as some of what occurs to Yan Hong isn't the fault of
anyone but herself. Karena Lam is photogenic in the
flashbacks and grotesque in the present day, and she
does a decent job selling the character in either physical
state. What she doesn't do is prove to us that Yan Hong
is necessarily worth sympathizing with. Sure, her lot
in life was crappy, and her emotionally-devastated stares
are heartbreaking. But ultimately, what's revealed about
Yan Hong isn't enough to make her that sympathetic -
especially when you factor in her acts of violence and
kidnapping.
In contrast, Shu Qi's
May is totally sympathetic, as she's an out-and-out
victim whose major fault is that she doesn't seem to
own any pants. In a minor, though ridiculous detail,
May always wears skirts - even when crawling through
ventilation ducts, or when preparing to meet Yan Hong
mano-a-mano. Still, despite May's lack of a functional
wardrobe, the audience should definitely be on her side,
and her plight takes on a noticeable intensity thanks
to that. Throughout the entire film, May must fight
alone, as the cops, her neighbors, and the nonexistent
management of the housing estate pretty much write her
off as paranoid and delusional. Of course, given the
fact that her kid did disappear in a frighteningly odd
way, you'd think that someone would show a little more
concern for her. The neighbors and housing management
seem to not care that a child abduction has occurred
in their supposed safe community. While May's solitary
struggle may be compelling, it's also somewhat unbelievable.
Director Soi Cheang does
create some genuine pathos, and his characters and their
situations can be remarkably felt. The resulting film
comes off as intense and compelling - if you can forgive
the film's lack of credibility. Aside from the mystifyingly
crappy neighbors, the cops are laughably ineffective,
and seem to exist only to act skeptical or get in May's
way. Home Sweet Home does possess a compelling
and gripping pace, but once the plot holes become apparent,
the film starts to seem overdone, and even borderline
inane. Karena Lam and Shu Qi's gutsy performances come
off as overacting, and the nakedly horrified performance
of child actor Tam Chun-Ho starts to look wild-eyed
and over-the-top. It would have been better if Home
Sweet Home had been tighter and more confined, but
the sheer expanse of the setting makes the plot holes
hard to cover.
Home Sweet Home does
possess a few emotional hooks that manage to leave an
impression. At some point, the line between the two
mothers blurs, and the resulting moments pack a solid
emotional punch. It's those one or two moments that
make Home Sweet Home at least partially worthwhile.
Soi Cheang works overtime to get the audience to care,
and if he doesn't succeed in even the tiniest way then
the viewer is likely a robotic human being that could
never grasp the sheer desperation and frustration of
a mother who's lost their child. The actresses certainly
spill sufficient sweat, blood, and tears to sell the
emotions, and their effort is appreciated. On emotion
alone, Home Sweet Home is pretty good stuff.
But as a complete motion picture, it's not so pretty.

Himalaya Singh

Year:2005
Director:Wai Ka-Fai
Cast:Lau Ching-Wan, Ronald Cheng Chung-Kei, Cecilia Cheung Pak-Chi, Francis Ng Chun-Yu, Cherrie Ying Choi-Yi, Wong Yau-Nam, Tsui Tin-Yau, Shing Fui-On, Lee Siu-Kei, Tommy Wong Kwong-Leung, Sanatan Mody, Gauri S. Kamik, Donald Tong Kim-Hong, Siu Yeah-Jim
Description:
If
you think your cinema tolerance is unusually high,
then Himalaya Singh is for you. A hodgepodge
of movie parodies, vaguely meaningful Hindu mythology,
and over-the-top everything else, this Lunar New Year
film echoes last year's Fantasia in that it
takes a cast of pretty big stars, has them act silly,
and supposes that it all means something. Both films
are completely weightless, and both feature a pronounced
manic tone that could leave you exhausted. However,
Himalaya Singh is much worse than Fantasia
- which is mystifying because really, the two films
are quite alike. Where did writer-director-producer-scapegoat
Wai Ka-Fai go wrong?
Ronald Cheng leads the
cast as Himalaya Singh, a sheltered dope born in the
Himalayas. Singh has attained the highest stage of
Yoga, and is sent out into the world by his parents
. His supposed mission
is to marry the cloyingly-named India Beauty , but Singh falls in with a Chinese beauty
instead: Tally , an undesirable wannabe
bride who thinks Singh should be hers. Too bad he's
promised to India Beauty, a fact that sends her into
a maniacal tizzy. Her plan: to turn Singh into a bastard
who will mistreat India Beauty, thereby exacting revenge
on the girl who gets the guys instead of her. Singh
goes along because his dad told him to try being a
bad guy, with the caveat that Singh can take a memory
loss potion to erase the memory of his evil deeds.
Of course, Papa Singh doesn't seem to care about collateral
damage, i.e. all the people affected by his son's
possible misdeeds; he just supports being a bad guy
because it's good experience. That's parenting for
you.
Meanwhile, Lau Ching-Wan
is an unlucky Hong Kong bloke on tour in India with
his two nephews . The nephews get sidetracked when they fall
in with Francis Ng, a fellow traveler whose adventurous
spirit causes all three to drink the same memory loss
potion mentioned above. The result: they can't remember
who the hell they are, and embark on a series of meaningless
adventures punctuated by Francis Ng overacting. Thanks
to the memory loss potion, Ng gets to pull the occasional
Memento joke, plus he gets the opportunity
to take on various personalities, including a Japanese
Yakuza, an Indian expatriate, and finally Himalaya
Singh himself. Ng's performance is actually fairly
decent, and he, Ronald Cheng, and even Cherrie Ying
manage amusing and effective performances. Just because
they're acting inane and insane doesn't mean we should
necessarily knock their effort.
However, all amusement
is thrown out the window with the arrival of Lau Ching-Wan's
character, a thinly-veiled knockoff of Mr. Bean. What
that means is Lau mugs, mugs, and mugs some more in
the service of a character that's mostly clueless
and all annoying. After getting separated from his
nephews, he ends up falling into a hallucinatory love
affair with Peacock , an ethereal
beauty whose entire shtick is to parody as many movies
as possible. Somewhere in Time, Titanic,
Kill Bill, Indiana Jones, and more get
skewered, though none of the jokes are really anything
more than curious distractions. Lau does a reasonable
job as the Mr. Bean clone, but there's one big problem:
this is Lau Ching-Wan, who shouldn't be wasting his
time with Rowan Atkinson's leftovers. Still, Lau gets
two love interests; besides Peacock, he also romances
India Beauty, which leads to his inclusion in a massive
yoga competition to win India Beauty's hand in marriage.
Cue a massive yoga race, featuring CGI that's reputedly
state-of-art, but really doesn't look like it. Apparently,
somebody bought their computer graphics workstations
at Walmart.
The above might sound
amusing to some...though if you're one of those people,
you should make an appointment at your local mental
health practitioner pronto. Then again, Fantasia
didn't sound that amusing either: three private-eye
brothers encounter weirdness with a genie dressed
up like Harry Potter, a couple of beehive-hairdoed
juvenile delinquents, and finally a CGI monster that
was more silly than scary-looking. The big difference:
Fantasia was based on the beloved Hong Kong
cinema of the sixties and seventies, and even the
CGI monster had a basis in past HK lore . The stars of Fantasia were playing
the Hui brothers, Josephine Siao, and Shek Kin, and
even the pseudo-hopeful message at the end of Fantasia
had local grounding. It's no wonder that Fantasia
struck a chord with local audiences because it was
really about Hong Kong.
Conversely, Himalaya
Singh isn't about Hong Kong, and it's definitely
not about India. Instead, it's a completely random
hodgepodge of jokes with no rhyme or reason, and after
a good ninety minutes of such pointless silliness,
a person could become insane if not agitated and downright
murderous. Movie parodies are sometimes cool, but
the ones here are thrown upon the audience with all
the cloying referential lameness of a Wong Jing production.
The lone exception to this: the large parody of Somewhere
in Time, which is notable because it's not a very
recent movie , and has no long-term
cultural significance. Those who saw the film might
find the parody to be worth a few giggles, but it's
still nothing worth writing home about. In fact, nothing
here is that interesting or affecting at all, which
makes the final message of Himalaya Singh
completely useless. When the "Go humanity!"
ending rolls around, Wai Ka-Fai seems to either be
A) kidding himself, or B) rubbing our faces in it.
You decide.
Overall, Himalaya Singh
is a decent curiosity for HK Cinema completists, and
really, it's not as bad as Where's Mama's Boy
or The Spy Dad. It's just tiresome and annoying,
and does nothing to make its continuous sensory assault
worthwhile. Fans of some of the stars might be okay
, and the locations and costumes are
pleasing to look at. At the very least, Himalaya
Singh actually seems to improve as the film goes
on, but that's a relative measure. Considering the
first 30 minutes are interminable, a slight improvement
for the remainder of the running time is like dislocating
your finger after breaking a limb. Basically, it's
not so bad in comparison, but it still sucks. To add
insult to injury, Himalaya Singh is currently
2005's highest-grossing Hong Kong film ! The terrible sadness of this cannot
be properly expressed.

Futago

Year:2005



Hisako Shirata
Director:Fung Yuen-Man
Cast:Hisako Shirata, Tony Ho Wah-Chiu, Emily Kwan Bo-Wai, Samuel Pang King-Chi
Description:
Asian Horror gets another entry with the underwhelming
Futago. Hisako Shirata turns in a frightfully
average performance as twin sisters Asa and Mio Uchida,
a pair of Japanese girls with vastly different reasons
to be in Hong Kong. Asa came over to become a popstar,
but during her stay at a Tsimshatsui motel, she suddenly
disappeared. Enter sister Mio, whose sudden appearance
at the motel freaks out everyone else staying there.
Their overdone fright at Mio's appearance is because
A) something obviously happened to Asa and everyone
is acting guilty, and B) Mio walks slowly and in a bizarre,
zoned-out state, just like every creepy Asian girl since
The Ring. Everyone should be afraid; soon after
Mio appears, people begin dying left and right. You'd
think people dying would cause a mass exodus from the
hotel, but nobody leaves. The room rates must be good.
Mio's appearance could mean
many things. Is she a vengeful spirit out to avenge
her sister? A tourist just checking up on her sister
at the wrong time? Or a cheap knock-off of every other
creepy female in an Asian Horror movie? The answer:
a combination of the above. For a period of time, the
film does hold some intrigue. This is mostly due to
first-time director Fung Yuen-Man, who reveals the ins-and-outs
of Futago with a slow, patient style that's surprising
for a Hong Kong filmmaker. The film also has effective
cinematography and art direction, and manages some tense
and even effectively violent moments. Futago
doesn't reveal too much too soon, so those who find
the mystery of Asa and Mio Uchida interesting should
be on the edge of their seats.
Unfortunately, the mystery
of the twin sisters isn't really that interesting, so
whatever goodwill the film engenders is soon lost. After
a while, the film's tension gives way to unintentional
silliness. Actors start to overact, characters and situations
grow inconsistent, and an obvious costume change occurs.
Hisako Shirata ditches her white dress and shows up
in a red one, which is a dead giveaway in any Chinese
horror film that you should run away as soon as possible.
However, nobody takes the obvious hint, and continues
to let Mio Uchida have her way. Making matters worse
is investigating cop Ching , who qualifies
as possibly the worst cop in all of Hong Kong. Ching
is tortured by bad memories and a disintegrating marriage,
so he could be excused for being sloppy. However, Ching
doesn't seem to have any idea how to run an investigation
except show up after people are dead. As Ching, Tony
Ho makes a decent burnt-out cop, but he loses all credibility
when he begins to overact comically. But even before
then, Futago has already ceased to become anything
more than an unnecessary entry into an overcrowded genre.

The Eye 10

Year:2005
Director:Danny Pang Fat, Oxide Pang Chun
Cast:Wilson Chen, Isabella Leong, Kate Yeung, Kris Gu Yu, Ray MacDonald, Bongkoth Kongmalai
Description:
From
haunting all the way down to marginally amusing. The
Eye films, products of those wunderkind Pang
Brothers, have consistently gone downhill since 2002's
stellar The Eye, leading up to this year's
frightfully silly The Eye 10. So what's the
problem? Are the Pang Brothers only one-trick wonders?
Or has the idea of seeing dead people simply run its
course? The answer probably skews towards the latter,
as the Pang Brothers do show enough style and verve
to warrant even more money thrown at them . Also, The Eye 10
has its merits style-wise, and the filmmakers should
get some credit for trying to shake up their formula.
However, if the forumla for Eye 10 is repeated
ad nauseum, then Eye 11, Eye 15, or
Eye 69 don't sound very appealing.
The previous Eye
films had solo female leads; not this time. The Pang
Brothers go the youth route and enlist a passel of young
actors for a supposedly creepy journey to Thailand.
Wilson Chen leads the pack as Ted, a typical Hong Kong
slacker vacationing with cousin May , pal Gofei , and Gofei's
girlfriend April . The
group is visiting the homeland of Thai buddy Chongkwai
, which means fun in the sun and plenty
of teen hijinks. On a dark night, the quintet begin
telling ghost stories, and Chongkwai offers up his
special invitation: to make their own ghost stories.
Duh, they agree, and the problems begin.
But not right away.
Chongkwai introduces his "seeing ghosts"
offer as a game, inspired by a mysterious book that
he bought from a shady bookseller. The book details
the "10 Encounters," i.e. the ten methods
enabling humans to see ghosts. The first two are "The
Case of the Cornea Transplant" and the "Case
of Attempting Suicide While Pregnant" - obvious
references to Eye 1 and Eye 2, complete
with stock footage of Angelica Lee and Shu Qi from
those films. Those two methods are not attempted by
the kids, but the rest - a Ouija board, playing "Hide
N' Seek" with a black cat, offering a midnight
meal on the streets - are fair game, as the kids try
their hardest to see ghosts and presumably scare the
bejesus out of themselves.
The
plan works; they see ghosts and freak themselves out,
though their fright isn't translated to the audience.
The ability to see ghosts seems to be completely non-threatening,
which actually echoes the previous Eye movies,
where the spirits were bad mojo, but nothing more.
Despite their freaky, pale appearance and accompanying
pulse-pounding soundtrack, the ghosts never really
hurt anyone. That knowledge wasn't necessarily given
in the beginning of those films, so tension and some
fright was still possible, but in Eye 10 seeing
ghosts seems like just a way to pass the time with
your buddies. This doesn't stay true for the whole
film, but even then the scares barely register.
Here's one reason why: these
kids are largely uninteresting. Wilson Chen and Kate
Yeung are both promising young actors, but their characters
are one-dimensional and don't engender much sympathy.
The most difficult part is probably given to Isabella
Leong, who brings lightweight photogenic appeal to
the increasingly distraught April. She gets all freaked
when bad stuff starts to happen, but still not much
tension is added. Again, the characters being uninteresting
is one reason, but another is the proliferation of
throwaway gags and jokes that get in the way of a
consistent frightening tone. Humor in horror pictures
is actually welcome because it can provide some relief
from the omnipresent doom and gloom. However, the
jokes in Eye 10 either stretch on for way too
long, or are lowbrow sophomoric stuff that would be
better served in a Wong Jing movie. When the characters
start farting as a way to ward off ghosts, it pretty
much seals the deal; Eye 10 is a sometimes
effective, but unfortunately silly motion picture.
The good stuff: production
values, the overwrought and sometimes bombastic soundtrack,
and even some well-directed moments. The scenes in
Hong Kong where Ted and May begin to spy ghosts are
vintage Pang Brothers, and echo some of the creepier
moments from the original Eye. However, despite
the effective direction, the scenes are completely
undermined by the ultimate silliness of everything,
and even the "10 Encounters" can get comical.
One of the prescribed ghost-seeing methods is to bend
over and look between your legs. Even in a serious
horror picture, that method is probably a little too
silly, but in the wacky, unaffecting world of Eye
10, it's just more silly stuff on an already egregious
silly heap. Eye 11, 12, 14, or
2046 may be better, but let's hope they shake
all the silly stuff out. .

Embrace Your Shadow

Year:2005
Director:Joe Ma Wai-Ho
Cast:Fiona Sit Hoi-Kei, Dylan Guo, Cheung Kwok-Keung, Chung Ching-Yu, Samuel Pang King-Chi
Description:
Effective
direction and decent leads can't lift Embrace Your
Shadow, a frightfully average romantic drama from
director Joe Ma. The Love Undercover auteur's
second stab at drama, Embrace Your Shadow recycles
old themes and plot devices to tell a tale of love
on the wrong side of the tracks. Taiwan TV star Dylan
Guo is Juchin, a petty thief who loses his head when
he meets the pretty, but dour Ran .
Juchin enters Ran's
life when Shiayou , her six year-old
niece goes missing; Juchin bumps into Shiayou after
pulling a job and tries to bribe her into silence
with a digital movie camera. The girl just wants to
go home, so Juchin takes her home, whereupon he meets
Ran, her paralyzed older brother Feng ,
and discovers their unique troubles. Feng has a rare
hereditary blood disease that caused his paralysis,
and Ran could be in line for a similar fate. Juchin
is instantly sold, smitten, or suckered - soon he's
hanging with the family, taking them to barbeques,
and using his thievery to fund a possible operation
for Ran. Predictably, love and even more problems
blossom.
Joe Ma's first drama
was Funeral March in 2001, and Embrace Your
Shadow shares the same opaque directorial style
as Ma's previous effort. Unlike Ma's usual youth comedies,
the characters of Embrace Your Shadow do not
reveal themselves with witty existentialism or long-winded
exposition. Ma instead uses action and situation to
reveal his characters, and the change in style is
welcome. The film's script is spare and features less
soul-baring exposition than your usual Hong Kong film.
While that's not really saying a lot , the patience
displayed here is refreshing.
Unfortunately, the story
of Embrace Your Shadow is largely generic,
and given to predictable dramatic devices seen before
in many other films. The characters themselves possess
standard melodrama issues, and some are not fleshed
out enough to warrant the weight given to them. Chief
among these is the character of Fu ,
an evil triad with a largely unexplained distaste
for Juchin. The existence of Fu does allow for the
film's climax, but by that time the outcome has been
all but announced. If you've seen any films with a
lovelorn guy trying to escape the clutches of an evil
triad, you'll know how Embrace Your Shadow
ends.
Even more, the film
is perhaps too low key. The romance between Sit and
Kuo is given a warm, simmering build-up via initial
antagonism, followed by sidelong smiles, and finally
outright acceptance. But their love takes a backseat
to a bunch of other subplots, including the evil triad
nuisances, and those involving Feng, who has issues
with his ex-wife. The sequences do bring out some
potent drama, and do support the film's theme of unselfish
love. But if the romance between Dylan Guo and Fiona
Sit isn't that compelling, what reason is there really
to watch?
The film does have its
minor positives. Fiona Sit possesses a range unseen
in most Hong Kong actresses of similar age, and Dylan
Guo is handsome, if not a bit blank. Most of the cast
is effective in a low-key manner , and Ma manages a few defly directed
sequences. Fans of the stars will likely find much
to like in the generous screen time given to their
favorite idols. Still, everything that's been done
in Embrace Your Shadow has been done before,
and usually much better.

Dragon Reloaded

Year:2005
Director:Vincent Kok Tak-Chiu
Cast:Ronald Cheng Chung-Kei, Miki Yeung Oi-Gan, Cheung Tat-Ming, Sam Lee Chan-Sam, Tang Chi-Fung, Mimi Chu Mi-Mi, James Wong Ka-Lok, Ken Lo Wai-Kwong, Kary Ng Yiu-Fei, Theresa Fu Wing
Description:
Nobody
claimed they wanted it, but Hong Kong Cinema is giving
it to us anyway: a sequel to the 2003 surprise hit
Dragon Loaded. A quick recap: in Dragon
Loaded, wacky cop Lung Wai wasted
time, made some faces, kicked some butt , and did nothing truly important
or interesting. He also won the the heart of cuddly
Stephy Tang despite looking like Ronald Cheng - an
impressive feat indeed. The movie scored, making Cheng
an instant comedy star. Now Cheng returns for Dragon
Reloaded, a plotless comedy sequel that hinges
on the exact same conceit as the original film. Basically,
it's all about the star. If you can't stand Ronald
Cheng, then Dragon Reloaded will not change
your mind. But if you like him, then this can be fun
stuff. Pick your side.
Lung Wai returns, along
with pals Gold and Hei ,
though one wonders why they haven't been fired from
the force yet. Aside from running a station house
like a nightclub, the trio also appears on a "Hong
Kong's Most Wanted" TV show, which is little
more than another excuse to see Ronald Cheng in drag.
The trio get uprooted for the sticks when they vacation
to Golden Pond Village with former chief Tang . However, they irk the rough and tough SDU/OCB
squad, who are led by the steel-jawed Rock . The tough cops are after a local villager
who stole a Goddess Statue, thereby bringing bad luck
to the village and annoyance to people far and wide.
During an ensuing chase, the cops almost get their
man, but Lung Wai and his pals predictably get in
the way. Rock gets pissed, and the cop trio gets punished.
Said punishment: take the
place of the local police on Golden Pond Village to
possibly find the criminal. This would imply some
sort of assignment, but by the way these guys act,
you can hardly tell that they're cops. Instead of
actual work, the trio attempt to swindle the locals,
hit on any female in sight, and basically mess around
for a good ninety minutes. The highlights: they unearth
a local ancestor for a quick Mr. Vampire reference,
incur the wrath of the ever-mischievious locals, and
engage in comic face-offs with local bully Tiger . Lung Wai also attempts
to romance Miki Yeung, who takes over for Cookie bandmate
Stephy Tang as the love interest du jour. Eventually
stuff happens and the case gets solved, though actual
police work is never in evidence. If you think that
sounds like a plot, then you're an extremely forgiving
person.
Still, using most Hong
Kong comedies as evidence, it's obvious that plot
is NOT the main issue here. The point of any Ronald
Cheng comedy vehicle - and possibly any comedy directed
by Wong Jing heir-apparent Vincent Kok - is simply
shtick, shtick, and more shtick. Occasionally there
are attempts at romance or other gooey feelings, but
even then it's barely in evidence, as everything is
so broadly played by Ronald Cheng that nothing seems
to matter at all. True drama? Real emotions? Actual
tension? None of it exists because Cheng punctuates
everything with such eager-to-please comic gusto that
he's basically smacking us over the head with a giant
comedy-sized mallet. Cheng and Kok are in this for
the cheapest laughs possible, and they mine local
pop culture, old Hong Kong flicks and genres, and
out-of-nowhere gags that sometimes manage to be surprisingly
funny. Case in point: an inspired bit where the SDU/OCB
guys name their operation the "Hong Kong Film
Awards," and go by the codenames Wong Kar-Wai,
Johnnie To, Wong Jing, and Tsui Hark. It's totally
nonsensical and absolutely pointless, but hey, it's
funny.
At least, it's funny
part of the time. Comedy is hard, and again using
most Hong Kong comedies as evidence, it's nearly impossible
to hit the mark with any real consistency. Dragon
Reloaded follows suit and sometimes proves interminable
and downright uninteresting. Vincent Kok doesn't exactly
enhance his filmography, and really seems to have
lost a step from his earlier pictures . Back
then, it seemed that Kok would be able to handle comedy
and occasional touches of real emotion, but his recent
output has all been on the mo lei tau side.
At the very least Kok is less annoying a director
than Wong Jing, but by the same token, his work is
less interesting, and almost bland because it doesn't
reach the extremes that Wong's work does. Wong Jing
can REALLY annoy with his work, but at least he's
reaching you. Sometimes, Kok barely does that.
But the big factor here:
Ronald Cheng. Hong Kong's comedy prince shows up in
fine form, and though he can be annoying at times,
he's really a very likable, competent comedy lead.
Cheng possesses no shame about hamming it up, and
possesses none of that pesky self-aggrandizing baggage
many stars do. Hong Kong Cinema was once popularized
by its self-effacing, likable stars, and Cheng seems
cut from the same cloth. He's still a somewhat raw
comedy performer, but he does possess enough charisma
to be both laughable and likable, and he can engage
an audience's emotions even when he's not cutting
up. Cheng is enough to make Dragon Reloaded
an amusing timekiller - and the fact that the film
itself manages a few more laughs is almost a bonus.
If you're not a fan of Cheng or nonsense comedies,
then Dragon Reloaded will not convert you to
the cause. But for what it is, Dragon Reloaded
is occasionally amusing and even surprising - and
really, it's hard to ask for more than that.

Demoniac Flash

Year:2005

Anthony Wong takes up a new hobby
Director:Tony Leung Hung-Wah
Cast:Anthony Wong Chau-Sang, Nicola Cheung Sun-Yu, Sam Lee Chan-Sam, Natalie Ng Man-Yan, Ken Wong Hap-Hei, Timmy Hung Tin-Ming, Jason Chu Wing-Tong, Elise Liao, Bella Zhang
Description:
Everyone in Demoniac Flash suffers from delusions.
If you picked up this DVD expecting some sort of quality
filmgoing experience, then you probably suffer from
delusions too. Director/writer Tony Leung Hung-Wah
follows up his underwhelming B-movie PTU Files
- Death Trap with a completely underwhelming horror
flick. This movie is so underwhelming that you will
likely forget what happened only moments after it
occurs onscreen. It's that uninteresting.
Anthony Wong leads the cast
as crippled fellow Mo, who became so thanks to tragic,
yet oddly laughable circumstances. In the opening
moments of Demoniac Flash, we witness the truly
awful parenting that leaves Mo in crutches. While
reading a paper, Mo let his son get run over by a
truck, and the resulting trauma of being such a lousy
father psychologically induces Mo to lose the use
of his legs. Thanks to Tony Leung Hung-Wah's direction,
you might lose control of your bladder. While it's
awful to watch a tyke get totaled by a truck, the
scene is staged so ineptly that A) you know the kid
is going to get run over, and B) you'll probably want
to slap Anthony Wong for phoning in his performance.
Ah, but it gets worse. Nicola
Cheung shows up as the comically delusional comic
artist May. Basically, everytime she falls asleep,
she either A) sees a person in a white shirt get stabbed,
or B) gets chased by a hunchback garbage lady. On
the bright side, May's nice guy co-worker Ken Wong

dotes on her like a lovestruck dope. Meanwhile, his
sister Natalie Ng is a shrieking social worker who
has delusions of getting sexually assaulted by one
of her female patients. She also runs around calling
May crazy, which would be all right if she weren't
so batty herself. All of these characters either live
in or wander around Rose Villa, an impressive condo
establishment that also houses Sam Lee and a bunch of his friends,
who are in town to work on a movie. Then someone dies,
a couple of gangsters show
up and overact, and things start to make even less
sense.
"Pointless"
would be the best description for Demoniac Flash,
though "interminable", "mind-numbing",
and "mystifyingly bad" could qualify too.
Tony Leung Hung-Wah assembles a massive cast of characters,
though some are so unnecessary that it's a wonder
they even made the final cut. Sam Lee looks to either
be A) visiting the set, or B) doing someone a favor.
Anthony Wong actually does appear to act on occasion,
though his character's ultra-nice attitude could merely
be the actor channeling his boredom. Nicola Cheung
is fetching but mechanical, and everyone else in the
cast either overacts or can't act at all. It's hard
to say who's to blame, the filmmakers or the actors
themselves. To be safe, we should probably just blame
everyone.
The killer to all of this:
none of the characters are remotely compelling, and
the situations are incredibly uninteresting too. Horror
should have some basis for affecting you, be it characters
who matter or situations that are unnerving in their
primal familiarity. That doesn't happen here. Though
the "scary long haired woman" does appear
once or twice to remind you that this is an Asian
horror film, most of the scares here are too character
specific to get under your skin. Even worse, 90% of
them occur in dream sequences. Too often we are introduced
to moments of mild horror, only to have the character
suddenly wake up. This probably happens only a dozen
times, but thanks to the miracle of filmmaking, this
"wake up after a bad dream" narrative device
seems to occur no less than 10,000 times. The lesson
here could be to never fall asleep, because if you
do, you'll see some wacky hunchback garbage lady goose-stepping
towards you in an abandoned warehouse. Either that,
or you could dream that you're watching Demoniac
Flash again. If that happened to me, you could
count on me staying awake until the end of time.

Crazy N' The City

Year:2005
Director:James Yuen Sai-Sang
Cast:Eason Chan Yik-Shun, Joey Yung Tso-Yi, Francis Ng Chun-Yu, Yan Ng Yat-Yin, Chloe Chiu Shuet-Fei, Meng Zhang, Kara Hui Ying-Hung, Lam Suet, Hui Siu-Hung, Chin Kar-Lok, Alex Fong Chung-Sun, Henry Fong Ping, Sam Lee Chan-Sam, Crystal Tin Yui-Lei, Liu Kai-Chi, Daichi Harashima, Elena Kong Mei-Yi, Waise Lee Chi-Hung, Ella Koon Yun-Na
Description:
If Crazy N' The City is any indication, Hong
Kong Cinema won't be that bad in 2005. A return to that
beloved Hong Kong genre called the "Cop Soap Opera,"
Crazy N' the City manages to channel entertaining
life with some tried-and-true movie themes and something
we can only describe as "that Hong Kong feeling."
Eason Chan is Chris Chan, a beat cop whose years on
the force have reduced his once hot-blooded nature into
something only lukewarm. Chris has never used his gun
in the line of duty, and approaches his job with a weary,
cynical laziness that could easily earn him a starring
role in Kevin Smith's upcoming Clerks sequel.
To Chris, it's all just a job, and nothing more. He
cares nothing for his colleagues, hates sucking up to
superiors, and doesn't want to walk uphill unless it's
on his prescribed beat. He could be poster child for
Gen-X slackers everywhere.
Enter Man Liu ,
a too-idealistic 23 year-old rookie who's looking to
matter. Man Liu is egregiously wide-eyed, and jumps
at the chance to do things like save cats, help old
ladies, and help Mainland tourists. Man Liu is a bit
of a caricature, but she serves her purpose. In the
standard formula, she's the half of the cop team that's
idealistic and young, while Chris is the cynical, frustratingly
old half. If the filmmakers followed the formula to
the letter, you could place a hefty wager on the young
cop inspiring the old cop, with their growing friendship
a catalyst for a cathartic ending where Chris exclaims,
"I'm a cop!" while pumping his fist in the
air. Also, with both Eason Chan and Joey Yung in the
leads, the potential for a Chris-Man Liu romance is
too obvious to ignore. If you drop your dollars on the
DVD thinking that's what you're going to get, nobody
would blame you.
Happily, that's not what
writer-director James Yuen does. Most notably, there
is no Chris-Man Liu romance, which probably pissed off
music company EEG , but is a welcome break from the norm for the
rest of us. Even more, Man Liu doesn't really inspire
Chris; instead, each slowly pulls the other towards
a more realistic center. Man Liu experiences minor burnout
from her too-pronounced enthusiasm, while Chris finds
a minor reawakening from the attentions of two teenage
girls who
become his biggest fans after he takes down a pervert
in front of them. This leads to teasing from his colleagues,
and a stint as their guest self-defense instructor.
Meanwhile, slightly-insane former brassiere salesman
Shing meets his pretty new neighbor , and a daring rapist/murderer starts a crime
spree in Wanchai. All this plus numerous cameos, human
interludes, minor characters, and even some death. It's
a cop film after all.
But not a normal cop film.
In the "Cop Soap Opera" genre, just as much
time is spent on the mundane and minuscule as the dire
and the deadly. In the case of Crazy N' The City,
the scales tip heavily in favor of minor character happenstance
and not primo cop stuff. Chris, Man Liu, and even Shing
undergo change in the course of their daily lives, with
each character's story serving to strengthen and support
the other. Shing, in particular, undergoes a massive
change, as his new love interest shakes him from his
shell-shocked norm into something resembling a fully-functional
human being. A series of harrowing personal setbacks
once drove Shing to the brink of suicide, and he's now
a shell of a man, talking into a broken cell phone as
if it were still two years ago. The character is a tough
sell, especially since his story arc is so patently
unrealistic, but Francis Ng helps by making Shing a
righteous, charming village idiot and not just a raving
loon. Joey Yung doesn't exactly come off as the next
Gigi Leung, but she gives Man Liu a likable, though
sometimes tiresomely cute demeanor. At the very least
Yung doesn't seem like the complete waste of an actress
she first appeared to be.
On the opposite end of
the acting spectrum, Eason Chan turns in the film's
strongest performance. Chris is a grouchy, yet likable
lout who somehow regains his sense of moral duty, and
though the change is expected and trite, Chan makes
it seem real and even earned. Chan manages to hit the
right notes, which is something to be thankful for because
otherwise Crazy N' The City appears uneven, and
even cloying. Though much of the character work is intriguing,
well-drawn stuff, when the film hits the eighty-five
minute mark, James Yuen starts to get cloying and obvious.
Would-be dramatic flourishes and inspirational music
become standard practice, which is usually the audience's
cue to start laughing in disbelief at the straight-faced
seriousness of it all. Self-conscious restraint sometimes
helps , and without it, Crazy N' The City
starts to look a little cheesy.
Then again, knocking Crazy
N' The City for getting too serious is probably
too much, as it's those emotional extremes that actually
make the film successful. Rapid transitions from endearing
comedy to pulse-pounding tension have long characterized
Hong Kong Cinema, and to the filmmakers credit, they're
able to take Crazy N' The City from slightly
disturbing farce to life-and-death drama in a credible,
and sometimes even moving fashion. Unexpected emotional
highs and lows are delivered, and though the delivery
is occasionally hackneyed, it's still enough to affect.
The rich location and attention
to both the inconsequential and the important gives
the film a likable, homey charm. There's an appreciable
local flavor to the film that enriches the characters
and makes them seem real梐nd that in itself makes
Crazy N' The City infinitely better than most
of Hong Kong cinema's recent output. The whole is still
a bit uneven, but this feels like a Hong Kong
movie - which is a rare and welcome thing indeed.